Some Would Call It ‘Blackmail’

 

It all began on a trip to South Dakota.

I was sitting in the back of the big Mercury station wagon with the dog and my brother Pete. I remember the comic books scattered around the back, and that we were bickering just like most little brothers and older brothers do…especially on road trips!

We were far enough back in the car that our parents could not hear us, or could easily ignore us…until Pete grabbed a new Matchbox Combine from me and pretended to throw it out of the window, and it slipped! Being six years old, I raised a fuss that got my mother’s attention, and when she found out what had happened she made Pete buy me a new one ($.75 at the time).

The loss fell into the past pretty quickly in the midst of visiting relatives, and finally making it out to the farm where my dad grew up. As I helped feed the calves, jumped from the hayloft with my brothers and cousins, and rode on tractors, I completely forgot about the lost toy. It was not until a few years later, when I was in Second Grade, that I remembered how easy it was to blackmail my older brother.

It was 1972 or 73, before the Gas Crisis, when gas stations would still give out premiums to entice customers to use their services. At that time Shell was giving away Hot Wheels cars with purchases over $8.00, and this got my attention!

I should explain that I had a very nice collection of Matchbox cars before I was in Kindergarten, many probably hand me downs. Unfortunately, I listened to a friend who thought it would be fun to play ‘junkyard’ and smash them with hammers. For this reason, my parents would seldom buy me a Matchbox or a Hot Wheels car, telling me I had to pay for them myself (so I could learn not to destroy my stuff – and probably because they were annoyed that I had smashed all of my cars).

For this reason, I struggled to rebuild my collection, but it never would match the vast cache of toy cars I had when I was in pre-school (the cache getting vaster as time went by).

When Shell began their promotion, I saw an opportunity to revitalize my collection, so whenever I was in the car, I would pester whoever was driving to stop for gas whether they needed it or not! This did not work out very well, as it was really annoying…especially to my brother Pete who would avoid going to Shell at times!

Then, remembering the trip to South Dakota, my lost Matchbox Combine, and how my mother made him replace it, and I got an idea!

Pete was about 18 or 19, and still living at home, this important because my parents made him give me rides, and during those rides I would catch him smoking cigarettes or cursing at other drivers. When he did anything like this he’d warn me not to tell my mother, because he did not want to get yelled at…and this gave me an idea, some might call it blackmail, I saw it as an opportunity.

Whenever Pete did something I knew my parents would not approve of, I’d threaten to tell…unless, he got me one of those gas station Hot Wheels cars!

On my first attempt at blackmail, Pete called my bluff, and I sang like Luciano Pavarotti!

After that, Pete finally saw things my way and gave in, I guess he figured that $.38 a gallon was not too high a price to pay for my silence. I continued to extort my brother for several weeks, and it was very profitable for me! Aided by blackmail, I went a long way towards rebuilding my fabled collection of cars!

One of the Hot Wheels he gave me became a favorite, it was Mustang Mach I, like the car that one of Pete’s friends had. I remember sitting in the back of the (real) car, right after Pete’s friend got it, and the cool feeling of being pushed back in the seat as the car accelerated!

In time the Shell promotion ended, and while I coerced Pete into buying me a few more Hot Wheels cars, in time he lost his fear of being tattled on, and went back to being annoyed. Eventually, he moved out and got a place with our brother Bob, and I moved on to other interests.

Looking back, I know that Pete did not have to give in to my blackmail. I looked up to him (as I did with all of my brothers), and he could have very easily persuaded me to keep my mouth shut, or he could have threatened me, but he was not like that. Except for the time I painted a racing stripe on his ’68 Thunderbird, I was never afraid that Pete would ever hurt me!

Pete had a good, kind heart.

Having our father’s patience, he would put up with a lot before he would even come close to anger, and even when he did, I seldom heard his raise his voice.

Although I thought I was getting the better of Pete, I think he enjoyed the attention and the fact that I wanted to spend time with him…I think he liked being a big brother! And, I also learned a lot from him as we grew up together, as he was someone who always tried to do the right thing, and although he made the occasional error in judgement, he never shied away from his mistakes. Instead, he picked himself up moved forward (like when he went back to college, after having dropped out during his first try…a decision that changed the course of his life).

Pete also shared a dry sense of humor with our father, and this rubbed off on me, as he often took me in with his tall (and outrageous) tales, like when he told me that the monster in the movie “The Blob” grew out of moldy cheese…which made me want to throw out all the cheese in the house. A gift I later shared with my nieces, nephews, my own daughter, and the 20 years of Sunday School students I have taught.

Although Pete was lost to a car accident many years ago, he is still with us, as how he lived his life has affected the lives of all who knew him. The lessons I learned from Pete, as well as from our father, brothers and brother in-law, have helped me to become the person I am today…a better father, partner, sibling, friend, and person.

Most of all, I have discovered that the learning never ends, and that even those who have left this world can still teach us lessons about life…for we never really lose anyone who lives on in our hearts…and that this is a good thing!

And so it goes.

The Reunion!

Jenny could never forget her first dog, nor did she want to! It was little dog named Sam, who she loved more than anything (except her mom and dad). Jenny and Sam would play together for hours, and she told him all of her secrets. Having been a Birthday present, they celebrated on the same day…Jenny with an apple pie, and Sam with a puppy-pie made of bacon grease and dog food. Sadly, Sam disappeared shortly after Jenny’s 10^th birthday. She came home from school, called for Sam, but he did not come running as usual.

 

Jenny became upset and ran to her mom, asking her where the dog was. Jenny’s mom gave her a sad look, and told her that Sam was feeling a little sick, so he went to live with the Vet, on his farm. Jenny began to cry, and asked “Can we visit Sam?” Her mother continued to look at her, and said “Maybe, once he is feeling better.”

 

Jenny was a bright girl, and did not quite believe the story about the farm and the Vet, so she explored the yard, looking for a freshly dug hole, but she found nothing.

 

However, she never did see Sam again, and in time the truth sunk in that Sam would never be coming back from ‘the farm’. Jenny was sad, but accepted the loss and moved on with her life.

Although Jenny was now a grandma herself, and has had several dogs since she was a child, she still thought fondly of Sam, and wondered what really happened to him. Her parents never said another word about the dog.

 

Having been a busy, single parent, it was a tough adjustment for Jenny when she found herself with an ‘empty nest’ and she realized that it was the first time that she had ever lived truly on her own. Time spent at home often left her feeling lonely especially when her boyfriend was busy with work, or off doing something or other.

 

So, to fill her time, Jenny began to explore. She would visit new and interesting towns that were jut out of her area, do some window shopping at antique stores, hike and also go to the occasional auction or estate sale.

 

Jenny was at one of those sales when she found something amazing!

 

It was an old farm house, which used to be part of a big farm but was now surrounded by cheaply built townhomes. Walking through the house Jenny saw some pictures left by the now deceased owner, and realized that it had belonged to the Vet that her family had used for years! This must have been the ‘farm’ that Sam was sent to! 

 

That thought made Jenny a little sad; however, she pushed that thought aside, as there had been too many reasons to be sad recently, and she was determined to have a more positive outlook on life!

 

As she continued to explore the house, Jenny made her way to the basement, and saw an old freezer clanking away in the corner. It was unremarkable, the white enamel was chipped, and it was a little rusty towards the bottom, signs of a long-ago flood, but nothing to catch her attention…but it did!

 

As Jenny walked up to it, she felt a compulsion to open it, and without much effort, she gave in to that urge and opened the ice box! At first, it seemed ordinary, old packages wrapped in plastic, tin foil, and freezer burned. However, as she looked closer, she was shocked to see that there were some small animals wrapped up and labeled! Feeling sick, and unsure of what she would find, Jenny carefully dug down through the frozen animals, until she found was she had hoped she would never find: a package that said “Sam, March 1971”!

 

Horrified, but also angry, she took the package out and hugged it to herself. “You need a decent burial my old friend!” With that, she tore off the plastic, and opened the foil, to see Sam’s black little nose, one last time!

 

And the tears flowed.

 

Jenny quickly grabbed a blanket and wrapped up Sam in it, meaning to take him home and bury him in the garden! She quickly made her way out of the house, across the lawn and placed Sam in the back of her car before quickly driving away.

 

During the ride home, Jenny could not help but feel angry about what happened with Sam. She understood why her mother did not quite tell her the truth, but was upset that her dog had been locked away in the freezer for so many years!

 

It was a hot, August day, and the Sun was shining brightly on the package in the back of the car, and it began to thaw as Jenny drove back home! On the way, she had to stop and get gas, and then realized that she needed a few things from the grocery store. She was not too happy about leaving Sam in the hot car, but figured it could not hurt him, and she was planning to bury him right away anyhow.

 

Of course, it took longer than expected in the store, and when she got back to the car she saw that Sam was melting, and decided she needed to head home right away! Fortunately, she did not have far to go. Then, as she turned onto her street, Jenny thought she heard a rustling from the back. She slowed, listened, but told herself she was hearing things, when suddenly she heard a sharp bark!

 

She almost ran off the road, but was able to keep herself together to make it the last 100 feet to her driveway. By the time she parked, there was more barking and movement from the back of the SUV! Jenny quickly got out of the car and ran to the back, pulled up the hatch, and was greeted with sweet kisses from Sam!

 

She was stunned, but happy! It was a miracle…somehow, Sam was alive!

 

Jenny pulled off the remaining foil and let Sam out of the car, where he peed for about 10 minutes, then she bundled him back in the car and took him to her new Vet! It should go without saying that the Veterinarian had strong doubts about Jenny’s story, but agreed to examine the dog. As she did, Jenny noted the surprise on the doctor’s face, as she pulled melting chucks of ice our of Sam’s fur, and saw the label that Jenny had pulled from the bag, written in the old Vet’s shaky hand!

 

“I’m not sure what to believe, but it does seem like this dog is still ‘de-frosting’, something strange is going on here!” the Vet said. Jenny only cared about one thing: “But is he okay?” The Vet nodded and told Jenny “Sam seems fine, I looks like he had an infection, but the cold killed it…still, I want to give him some anti-biotics just to be safe…but…he is a healthy dog!” Jenny thanked the Vet, who was still looking mystified, and she took Sam and went home!

 

Once home, Sam had a bath, ate 3 big cans of dog food, drank about a gallon of water, and then crashed on the sofa! At first, Jenny was worried about this, but when Sam woke up, he jumped on her lap and licked her face!

 

Over the next few weeks, Sam got stronger, and Jenny was happy to see that he was the same good dog she had known as a child! She was also glad that Sam got along with her other dog, Susie, as the two became fast friends! Jenny loved watching them play in the backyard, and enjoyed petting Sam as he snuggled up next to her on the sofa.

 

Sam once again became a happy, healthy and loyal pet and friend. Even years after his return Jenny would look into his brown eyes amazed, trying to understand how her childhood friend could be 

there with her, alive and well, and wagging his tail…but Jenny was glad he was, as together they shared much happiness for many years!

And she never failed to prepare a wonderful puppy-pie for Sam every year on his new birthday, to celebrate the day he came back into her life!

On the Mend

On the Mend

 

It is the age-old question, one that is very simple, yet has puzzled humanity since we were evolved enough to question things like our existence and place in the world: “Why do bad things happen to good people?”

When we see good people, who are always seeking to do the right thing in life, to treat others with compassion and kindness, but are struggling with family, health or financial issues, we can look at them and wonder why them? Why do they have to suffer while less honorable people seem to be thriving through dishonesty and taking advantage of others?

I asked one of my Theology Professors this question (when I was back there in Seminary school) and he gave me the most honest answer I ever heard:

“We don’t know.”

He went on to say that he did not believe that it was the will of God (or any other Higher Power) that we suffer; however, we live in a broken world, where pain and misery do happen…and it is often those who least deserve it, who suffer the most!

He then suggested that instead of trying to answer the question of “why?”, we could focus on the bad things that happen in our world, on all those broken places, and look at what we can do to make things better for all people!

And this, regardless of what faith or religion we may follow (if any) is our responsibility as human beings: to work together to heal our broken world! Unfortunately, this can be a tall order these days, when everyone seems to want to have something to argue about, some position to defend, an ‘other’ to rail against.

While it seems to be the style today, this constant bickering, insulting and finger pointing gets us nowhere, except farther apart, as resistance only generates more resistance!

I have done a lot of customer service work during my checkered career, and I have learned a lot from these jobs. One of the most important lessons is that resistance only leads to more resistance! Customers don’t call in to tell us what a great job we are doing, they call when they are upset. Usually, these callers are reasonable, but occasionally they are angry and not afraid to share that with me.

If I meet their anger with my own resentment, then the call will go bad and nothing will get resolved. However, if I respond with professionalism and understanding, and seek to find common ground with the customer, we can usually get beyond the frustration, put aside the anger, and actually get something done!

In the same way, we cannot meet our challenges if we cannot even meet our neighbors at least half way. Reconciliation is based on compromise, not on total agreement. When we can accept our differences, we can start to build respect and even friendships. This will enable us to put aside our pride and to stop looking for reasons to argue with each other, and to start looking for ways to build new relationships that will allow us to work together.

Resistance only leads to more resistance, but reconciliation leads us to hope, and this hope can light the way forward as we work to together to heal all of the broken places in our world!