Peace Be With Us

 

April 19, 2020; Second Sunday of Easter

John 20:19-31

I have red hair, when I was young, it was really red…and I was often reminded of this fact, by strangers, old ladies at church, and bullies.

One day, when I was in second grade, I ran afoul of said bullies, and after letting them know that I did not appreciate their teasing, they offered to meet up with me after school to discuss the situation further: a classic set up, right out of the movies.

However, it was not quite as much fun in real life.

So, when school ended, I found myself sheltering in place. I was smart enough to stay near the office, but could see the bullies loitering just outside. I knew I was safe for the moment, but would not be able to stay there for long, and was thinking of an exit strategy, but not coming up with anything practical.

All I knew was that it was not safe to go outside.

I was thinking about my chances of taking another exit, thinking they could not be watching both the front and back doors at the same time…right? Then I saw a rattling old ’65 Valiant pull up to the curb!

It was my big brother Pete!

I was not expecting him, but my mother had asked him to pick me up after school, because there was big news!

When I walked out of the school, the bullies approached, but Pete saw them and told them to “get lost” and they backed away!

I was safe, at least for that afternoon!

When I got home, my mother told me I was changing schools!

(Yes, this really happened)

I would have to get used to a ‘new normal’ but at least those bullies wouldn’t bother me again!

And I knew that no matter what happened, that I would always have someone watching my back, always have someone to support me…just like Pete did, when he chased off the bullies.

In today’s Gospel, we find the disciples, also sheltering in place.

They were afraid to go out…because it was dangerous out there.

I remember hearing this Gospel in church, as a child, and thinking that they lacked faith in God, faith in the words of Jesus.

Wondering why they did not go out boldly and stand up their bullies…although I used caution with my own.

Looking down on them because they were afraid, and hiding.

However, these were thoughts of a child, and I was mistaken. For the disciples, going out WAS dangerous!

It would have put their lives, and the lives of those they loved, at risk because the same people who had executed Jesus wanted to kill them as well!

So, the disciples stayed hidden, and waited until it was safe to go outside; although they did not know when that would be.

While in hiding behind locked doors, they did their best to make sense of everything that had happened:

The arrest, torture and death of Jesus, the threats given by those in power, and now, the stories of his return! None of it made any sense, no wonder the disciples were afraid and confused.

They were facing an uncertain future. They knew it would be different, but had no idea what it would be like…yet.

But, for the moment, they knew it was better for them to play it safe, and stay in hiding.

There are some of us who may be able to relate to how the disciples were feeling on this evening.

Then, in the midst of their fear, sorrow and confusion, Jesus was with them!

And he appeared right when they needed him!

Just like my brother Pete did on that afternoon!

On this evening, the disciples needed hope, they needed to have something to give them peace, they needed Jesus!

He knew this, and so the first thing Jesus said to them was “Peace be with you”.

Usually, it is a simple greeting, but here, in the midst of their hiding place, these words became something more!

The last thing the disciples were feeling at that moment was peace.

Jesus’ greeting was also a sincere wish calm, a message of hope in the midst of a very difficult time.

Telling them, “Peace be with you” was a way of letting the disciples know that they were not alone, that God was still with them…that the promise of Christ, the promise of new life, was at hand…and this was reason for peace!

And this gift was given to them…and to all of us!

Then, Jesus asks us all to go out into the world, to tell others the good news, to share this gift of peace with a troubled world.

It is not an easy task, as our world is unsettled, and not everyone wants to hear this message of peace, nor does everyone want to hear the about God’s presence in our world.

The disciples would discover this for themselves, and that is why their road was not an easy one, but Jesus never promised that following him would be easy. There were plenty of reasons for them to have fear and uncertainty, but in the words of Jesus: “Peace be with you” there is hope, and strength.

Because with these words, Jesus is reminding the disciples that they are not alone, that they were part of the miracle of the Resurrection.

That faith can overcome fear.

Our lives are not easy either, even without a pandemic there are plenty of reasons to feel fear and uncertainty…

And at a time like this, it is even more important to be at peace, to seek out the faith that can quiet our fear, the hope that is found in knowing that God’s love surrounds always.

It is also important to remember that not only did Jesus wish us peace, but he also called upon us to be peace in our world…and to share this gift with our troubled world.

For the more we share God’s love and grace with each other the stronger it grows!

When we show compassion to those who are struggling, offer comfort to those who mourn, we are sharing our faith, faith that speaks to fear and uncertainty.

It is together that we will find the peace that we need to face the challenges of today, together that we will become the peace we need to move forward into our new normal…as we adjust to a new way of life in the wake of the virus.

In our new normal, it will be even more important for us to watch out for each other; not only to share this peace, but to be that peace!

May the peace of the Lord be with us all.

Making the Connection

I take phone calls all day…it’s my job.

These calls are seldom pleasant, as no one calls me just to thank us for the great service we provide to our customers; however, they are not all bad either, most are professional, and I do feel a sense of satisfaction if the customers seem happy when I give them a ticket number and hang up the call.

Most calls are pretty routine however, even the nasty ones often turn out to be “more of the same”: complaints about the bill, service interruption issues, etc., but there are some calls that stand out, because I made a connection (however small) with the customer. Sometimes it is when the account holder has died, or the business has failed, and there are times when I talk with someone from a similar background, or we have a place in common…like New Jersey or NYC.

And, I have had a few calls, where the customer was a stutterer, and as anyone with this affliction can tell you, the phone can present a big challenge…in the midst of many that are faced by those who stutter.

I talk all day long, and have done quite a bit of public speaking, but many are surprised to hear that I used to stutter pretty badly.

I am not a stuttering expert, and really don’t know what causes it, but in my case, I really believe that Karma played a role. In first grade, there was a kid named Pepe, who was a lot of fun to have around, because he was often acting-out and would do almost anything we dared him to do. This meant he was often in trouble, and when he was yelled at he got nervous and this brought out his stutter. Being kids, the milk of human kindness was in pretty short supply, and we made fun of Pepe’s stutter, comparing him to Porky Pig and mimic him.

Of course, it did not take long for me to start stuttering myself.

It felt like I was a broken record. The words were there, but I just couldn’t quite come out, no matter how hard I tried! They simply got stuck! Then, the kids started to make fun of me too…which was not as much fun as teasing Pepe.

At least this got me to stop teasing him, as I was not too young or ignorant to miss the irony. I had hoped the problem might pass when I stopped teasing him, but it persisted for years.

Looking back, I think the stutter sounded worse to me than it really was; however, it still made me self-conscious, and added to my growing social awkwardness and anxiety. It also led me to avoid speaking up in class and to be afraid of public speaking.

And the teasing continued as long as the stuttering remained a problem.

One thing that bothered me almost as much as the teasing, was when people would complete my sentences for me. Often, when it was clear that I was stuck on a word, someone would step in to help, assuming they knew what I was going to say. This would usually break the log-jam, but it was annoying that people…and especially because not all of these folks were well-meaning, some were just tired of waiting for me to finish what I was saying.

Even those who did mean well bugged me; however, I was more frustrated with myself for not being able to get my words out!

This went on until the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in High School. We were on vacation with family friends, when my friends’ father took me aside and told me about his own stuttering problem. This surprised me because he was a pastor, a very good preacher and speaker. He told me how he worked hard to overcome the problem, and then gave me a book, called “Stuttering Solved”. He told me that the book helped him to understand his stuttering and find new ways to face the problem, rather than just relying on tricks like avoiding certain words.

I was a bit embarrassed, but I had known this man most of my life, and saw him as a father figure, so I valued his advice, and actually read the book! In it, the author talked about well-known people in history who had a stutter and what they did to live with it. He talked about Winston Churchill and how he would say “ummm” before he began to speak, as a way of resetting himself. The book also talked about the King George VI of England, who worked hard to overcome his stuttering through practicing steps that would alleviate some of his anxiety about public speaking. Then, the author talked about the country singer: Mel Tillis, who stuttered terribly when he was talking, but had a smooth singing voice.

The author said that this intrigued him. He wondered why Mel could sing so well, but have such a hard time speaking, and after some research, consultation with experts and other stutterers, the author concluded that the trick was air-flow! Of course, the flow of air is crucial to speech, but what he figured out was that the way air flows as we are singing is very different from when we are speaking, and that if a stutterer could use the same process to speak as to sing the stutter almost completely went away.

Then, the author wrote, he actually practiced speaking this way, and found that his stutter disappeared.

Usually, these kinds of process-improvement steps don’t work for me, but in this case, it did! I found that by speaking as if I was singing, my voice became smoother and the stutter all but went away! The change was dramatic, and a relief.

It took some practice, but before long this way of speaking became a habit, and to this day, over 40 years later, I still try to speak with a lilt. This is not to say that I never stuttered again, even now, I can still get stuck on a word, especially when tired or stressed, but it is so much better.

My experience with stuttering (and with being bullied in general) has led me to feel more empathy towards others who are being picked on, and who are struggling with things they cannot necessarily control. This has been helpful when working with kids, on various project teams, and also while working in call-centers, where I have to field dozens of calls every day, from a variety of people.

I worked in my first call-center while in college, it was for an airline. I remember one call I took from a person who could hardly get a word out due to stuttering. One of my co-workers was trying to help, but was getting terribly frustrated with the person, which was evident…and made things worse. I overhead this, and as I was off of my call, offered to take over. The caller was struggling and almost in tears, until I explained that I understood, because I also stuttered, and eventually he calmed, slowed down and we were able to get his flight booked.

This and similar experiences with other stutterers, and with people for whom English is a foreign language have helped me both professionally and personally to have more patience and understanding. This empathy has allowed me to be able to listen to the stories of others, and to identify with the struggles they may be facing…which in turn has helped me to offer support these people the support they needed.

Having someone to connect with, someone who understands, makes a big difference and takes away the added stress of the situation.

And I can use this empathy in any case, as we are all facing our own issues, and often when my customers are difficult, it is because they are struggling with something unrelated to our services. While it may not be fair, or right, people who work Customer Service often play a surrogate role, we are people who can’t really fight back, giving some a ‘safe place’ to express their frustration over many things they feel powerless over.

Note, I don’t see this as healthy for anyone, and I think that there are better ways of dealing with the stress of life than venting on a stranger, but it happens all the same. When it does, I can see it as an opportunity to show these people that everything does not need to be a fight, and that there are better ways for us to treat each other.

However, having someone we can connect with, talk to and even vent with, can be very helpful, especially if they understand where we are coming from, because they have taken the same journey.

And this is one of the lessons I learned from stuttering, and from being adopted, and from struggling with Addiction: any challenge is easier to bear, if we do not have to face it alone.