Bullies

Bullies…

They’re not just for kids.

Even as adults we can run into them:  On the road, at work, stores, sporting events, when we are out trying to have a good time with our friends or families. We can also find them on Face Book, Instagram and other forms of social media…especially today, as we are in the midst of an election season.

We see bullies both celebrated and vilified in our culture, with some becoming very famous and powerful, mostly based on building themselves up while bringing others down. However, this also reminds us that most bullies lack any real substance, they are mostly bluff and bluster, but they can still have an impact.

Sometimes, all we need to do is look in a mirror to see a bully….as none of us are without sin.

This is a good thing to remember when others fall short, it can help us to be more forgiving, just as we too have been forgiven.

And we all have our own bullies to face.

Like my friend Harold. He was often bullied, for his weight, his stutter, lack of athletic prowess, and the fact that he was socially awkward (which was not helped by being bullied).

Now Harold became used to being bullied, and found the getting angry didn’t help as it often got physical, and that would get him into trouble – and his anger only seemed to embolden the bullies; that was what they were looking for.

In time, he learned it was best if he didn’t rock the boat.

Instead, he came up with other ways to cope with it…mostly by doing what he could to avoid conflict. If kids started to pick on him, he would sometimes often join in with them, and make a joke out it, like if someone called him ugly or stupid, he would agree with them in order to take some of their steam away. Often though, he would just find a way to walk away.

Then, one day, when he was between classes at High School, Harold came upon a crowd of kids blocking the hall! His instincts told him to turn around and go another way…as that many kids gathered together was usually meant trouble for him, trouble he did not want. Curiosity got the better of him though, and he stopped to see what was going on.

As Harold moved to the edge of the crowd, he saw one of the school’s bullies tormenting a kid named Jack.

Jack was a little bit ‘different’ with a dry sense of humor that was often misunderstood, and he was even more awkward than Harold. Because of this, most of the kids thought he was a little weird and definitely a bit of a nerd, long before shows like The Big Bang Theory made it almost cool to be dorky.

So, Jack was a frequent target of the bullies, who thought it was fun when they could make him angry, or even better…cry!

Because they were both bullied on a regular basis, Harold and Jack became friends, and gave each other support in the face of the taunts and teasing.

Harold saw that Jack was on the verge of tears right now, his face was getting red, he was shaking, and trying very hard not to lose control.  The crowd saw his vulnerability started laughing harder, with a few more of the kids moving from being spectators to actively teasing.

Harold saw what was happening and knew he should do something…

He knew what it was like to be bullied, and while he felt bad for his friend, he was also glad that he was not the target this time. Harold wanted to help, but was afraid that if he spoke up for Jack, he would wind up at the mercy of the bullies!

Just then one of kids pointed at Jack and called out: “Oh no, he’s starting to cry!”

Sure enough, the tears came, and everyone started to laugh and shout at him, including Harold!

When he realized what he was doing, Harold felt horrible!

How could he turn on his friend like that?

That was when Harold finally decided that he had to do something, even though he really didn’t want to, because he was afraid.

Putting his fear aside, Harold pushed his way through the crowd, walked over to Jack, and yelled at everyone to “Stop!” He told them that Jack did not deserve to be treated so badly…no one did, not even the bullies!

The crowd went silent for a moment, and then one of the kids pointed out: “You were just laughing too!” “You’re right, I did, and I was wrong…now I want to do what’s right.” Harold admitted, and then he turned to Jack and said “I’m sorry, I got caught up with the crowd, I shouldn’t have joined in!”

Jack just stood there looking sad and broken…

Some of the kids continued to laugh, but many just turned away without saying anything, looking embarrassed.

Then a teacher walked over to see what was going on…and with that, the rest of the kids walking away as well.

For a moment, Harold felt proud of himself for standing up for Jack, and he put his arm around Jack’s shoulder. Jack moved away from him and asked, “What took you so long?” and then walked away himself.

While Jack eventually forgave Harold, he soon transferred schools because the bullying just got too much him to handle…and this left Harold wondering if things might have been different, if he had spoken up sooner, or more often.

From then on, Harold made an effort to speak out and stand up to bullies, but it was still difficult for him, because he was afraid that if he said anything the bullies would turn on him, and sometimes they did…but as he got older, he did begin to speak out more often. Speaking up did not always work out well, but it did make a difference, it did get some people to think about how they were treating each other. On a few occasions those who were doing the bullying changed their ways, but more often, those who stood by and watched began to speak up more often themselves.

Speaking out also helped Harold to feel better about himself, and it assuaged some of his guilt, as he never wanted to let someone down, like he had done to Jack…ever again.

Through these experiences, Harold has learned that sometimes all it takes is a little bit of courage, to stand up for what is right.

Peace Be With Us

 

April 19, 2020; Second Sunday of Easter

John 20:19-31

I have red hair, when I was young, it was really red…and I was often reminded of this fact, by strangers, old ladies at church, and bullies.

One day, when I was in second grade, I ran afoul of said bullies, and after letting them know that I did not appreciate their teasing, they offered to meet up with me after school to discuss the situation further: a classic set up, right out of the movies.

However, it was not quite as much fun in real life.

So, when school ended, I found myself sheltering in place. I was smart enough to stay near the office, but could see the bullies loitering just outside. I knew I was safe for the moment, but would not be able to stay there for long, and was thinking of an exit strategy, but not coming up with anything practical.

All I knew was that it was not safe to go outside.

I was thinking about my chances of taking another exit, thinking they could not be watching both the front and back doors at the same time…right? Then I saw a rattling old ’65 Valiant pull up to the curb!

It was my big brother Pete!

I was not expecting him, but my mother had asked him to pick me up after school, because there was big news!

When I walked out of the school, the bullies approached, but Pete saw them and told them to “get lost” and they backed away!

I was safe, at least for that afternoon!

When I got home, my mother told me I was changing schools!

(Yes, this really happened)

I would have to get used to a ‘new normal’ but at least those bullies wouldn’t bother me again!

And I knew that no matter what happened, that I would always have someone watching my back, always have someone to support me…just like Pete did, when he chased off the bullies.

In today’s Gospel, we find the disciples, also sheltering in place.

They were afraid to go out…because it was dangerous out there.

I remember hearing this Gospel in church, as a child, and thinking that they lacked faith in God, faith in the words of Jesus.

Wondering why they did not go out boldly and stand up their bullies…although I used caution with my own.

Looking down on them because they were afraid, and hiding.

However, these were thoughts of a child, and I was mistaken. For the disciples, going out WAS dangerous!

It would have put their lives, and the lives of those they loved, at risk because the same people who had executed Jesus wanted to kill them as well!

So, the disciples stayed hidden, and waited until it was safe to go outside; although they did not know when that would be.

While in hiding behind locked doors, they did their best to make sense of everything that had happened:

The arrest, torture and death of Jesus, the threats given by those in power, and now, the stories of his return! None of it made any sense, no wonder the disciples were afraid and confused.

They were facing an uncertain future. They knew it would be different, but had no idea what it would be like…yet.

But, for the moment, they knew it was better for them to play it safe, and stay in hiding.

There are some of us who may be able to relate to how the disciples were feeling on this evening.

Then, in the midst of their fear, sorrow and confusion, Jesus was with them!

And he appeared right when they needed him!

Just like my brother Pete did on that afternoon!

On this evening, the disciples needed hope, they needed to have something to give them peace, they needed Jesus!

He knew this, and so the first thing Jesus said to them was “Peace be with you”.

Usually, it is a simple greeting, but here, in the midst of their hiding place, these words became something more!

The last thing the disciples were feeling at that moment was peace.

Jesus’ greeting was also a sincere wish calm, a message of hope in the midst of a very difficult time.

Telling them, “Peace be with you” was a way of letting the disciples know that they were not alone, that God was still with them…that the promise of Christ, the promise of new life, was at hand…and this was reason for peace!

And this gift was given to them…and to all of us!

Then, Jesus asks us all to go out into the world, to tell others the good news, to share this gift of peace with a troubled world.

It is not an easy task, as our world is unsettled, and not everyone wants to hear this message of peace, nor does everyone want to hear the about God’s presence in our world.

The disciples would discover this for themselves, and that is why their road was not an easy one, but Jesus never promised that following him would be easy. There were plenty of reasons for them to have fear and uncertainty, but in the words of Jesus: “Peace be with you” there is hope, and strength.

Because with these words, Jesus is reminding the disciples that they are not alone, that they were part of the miracle of the Resurrection.

That faith can overcome fear.

Our lives are not easy either, even without a pandemic there are plenty of reasons to feel fear and uncertainty…

And at a time like this, it is even more important to be at peace, to seek out the faith that can quiet our fear, the hope that is found in knowing that God’s love surrounds always.

It is also important to remember that not only did Jesus wish us peace, but he also called upon us to be peace in our world…and to share this gift with our troubled world.

For the more we share God’s love and grace with each other the stronger it grows!

When we show compassion to those who are struggling, offer comfort to those who mourn, we are sharing our faith, faith that speaks to fear and uncertainty.

It is together that we will find the peace that we need to face the challenges of today, together that we will become the peace we need to move forward into our new normal…as we adjust to a new way of life in the wake of the virus.

In our new normal, it will be even more important for us to watch out for each other; not only to share this peace, but to be that peace!

May the peace of the Lord be with us all.

Moving Out

 

January 25, 1997 was a rainy Saturday.

I had already made the arrangements. I had signed the lease and got an approval to move in a week early (and pay an extra week of rent); I had talked to a lawyer about what steps I needed to take, and about what I had to do in order to keep my daughter with me, and then had the difficult conversation with my wife…she did not put up much of an argument, I think she knew it was for the best.

It was a difficult decision, but things had run their course, and now we were doing nothing but running into brick walls.

She even helped me to pack and pick out new stuff for the apartment, dishes, pots, pans, cleaning supplies, even sheets and towels, all that I would need to start a new life. I was grateful that she did not make it more difficult, but also a little disappointed that she did not try harder to keep me…keep us, at home.

But then, we had been trying for so long…and we both knew we were done, there was no moving forward together.

I got the keys the night before the big move, and took over a few boxes, the TV, VCR and some pillows and blankets. Then, I picked up my daughter, got some McDonald’s and we spent the first night watching movies and sleeping on the floor of the new place. This way, I could truthfully say that when I moved, I took my daughter with me.

The actual move went well. I brought my daughter back to her mother, and had two friends to help out, and there was not a lot of stuff…the biggest thing being an old bookcase. It was a challenge getting that up the narrow staircase to the second floor, and it did get scuffed, we made it. Most of the rest of the items were just ‘smalls’. Still, it took a few hours, and I was grateful…the best part of the move was taking my friends out to lunch at Pizza Como when it was all over.

That evening, I went home to the apartment alone, my daughter stayed with her mother. I remember how good it felt to be all moved in, and to away from the stress that my marriage and home had become. I sat in my big easy chair, left the TV off and just listened to the sounds from the other apartments in the house. Downstairs, I could hear kids laughing, from upstairs, I could hear music, and from the other side of the wall, the sound of a TV. These were the sounds of people living their lives, and I was grateful for them…and for the peace.

The next day, I went to buy a new bed for my daughter (and had to retrieve the mattress from 422 when it blew off of the Subaru…it was covered in plastic), went home, set it up, continued to unpack and that evening, I picked up my daughter, and we were finally home!

After a dinner of chicken strips and potatoes (the first of many), another movie, and a story, I put her bed. As I was exhausted in every way, I went soon after. Our rooms were connected, so when I got into bed, I must have woken her up, and when I turned out the light, she asked if she could come in and sleep with me (she was two). I assured her that I was only a few feet away, and explained that I spent $200 for the bed, and that was why I wanted her to sleep in it. She seemed fine with that, we said “Good Night” and both tried to sleep…in the midst of so much change.

We lived in that apartment for more than six years. These were not all easy times, especially in the beginning, when we were adjusting to so much, but I did the best I could at the time. I had a lot to learn about being a parent…and some of those lessons were learned by making mistakes.

However, along with the difficult days, there were many good times. We had access to a huge yard, and spent hours and hours playing there, from make-believe with her toy animals, to soccer practice. We turned the small living-room into a fort for a few weeks, and her room became a playroom where Barbies cavorted with lions, tigers, bears and dogs!

And we had a play-kitchen where we dined on plastic peas and rubber cockroaches.

It was a place where I relearned the joy of playing, and where we both grew up. When we left to move into our own, much bigger, house, there was some sadness for me, but it was time to move on…just like it was time for that marriage to end.

Since then, life has continued to move forward, and has had some serious lows, but also some amazing highs (no pun intended); and a whole lot of the day to day ordinary.

While I like my house, I will always have a soft-spot for our old apartment, which got us started off on our new life. I have become grateful for that ordinary, that my daughter and I are still a family, that I have found a relationship that works, and that I have even made amends with my ex-wife…because all that resentment proved to be too heavy to carry around, and certainly too heavy to keep moving with me.

Flipped

I was Sober for a change…that’s important to note.

It had been at least two weeks since I had a drink or illegal drug, because I had been very sick. In fact, I had spent ten days in the hospital, and only got home a few days earlier, just in time for Christmas.

It was December 29^th 1982, and the joy of being home from the hospital, along with the ‘magic’ of Christmas, had faded. I was already becoming bored. Due to my illness I could not drink, there was no pot to smoke, and while I was a student at Upsala College, right down the street, most of my friends had headed home for the Holidays.

Fortunately, my sister and her kids had come over, which broke up the boredom; however, she was having car trouble and was worried about making it back home to Staten Island, so our father volunteered to go with her in case the car broke down, and asked me to follow in the Toyota, so I could give him a ride home. I was happy to have something to do and jumped at the chance.

My two nieces, who were 8 and 6 wanted to ride with me, so I made sure they were safely secured in the back seat, with their seat-belts before we left.

As her car was questionable, and her mechanic was on the Staten Island side of the bridge, my sister decided to take the local route, through Bayonne and across the bridge. There were lights on almost every corner and I was having trouble keeping up with her dying Volvo. I usually drive pretty fast, but I had my nieces in the car…and it is pretty difficult to drive fast on the streets of Bayonne…even without all those traffic lights.

I remember making a comment about the importance of not having an accident while trying to keep up, but before long we got to the bridge, and we were right behind the Volvo…all was going to be fine, we were almost to our destination.

As we got onto the bridge, I was going around 40 or 45 (though the limit was about 35), but I was keeping up with traffic. I distinctly remember passing the Police car, reminding myself to be careful, as I did not want a ticket. Then, I ignored my own warning…knowing there was a toll on the other end of the bridge, I took my eyes off the road for a moment, as I reached over to the passenger seat to get my wallet.

When I did, my hand must have slipped on the wheel, because when I looked up, we were heading straight toward the high divider! I turned the wheel sharply but still caught the edge and the car when up the divider and turned on its side! Before I knew what was going on, I looked out of the passenger window and could see only asphalt going by…and I knew that this could not be right!

At that point, all I wanted was to get the car back up on its wheels, I thought this would fix everything, and so I turned the wheel, although I knew that it was useless, none of the tires were touching the ground as this point…but somehow, it worked and the car righted itself and I was able to turn on my signal and pull over to the shoulder.

Note that all this happened in heavy traffic, but we did not hit any other cars!

Once we were stopped, I released the death-grip I had on the wheel, put on the emergency brake and turned around to check on my nieces…above all else, I prayed that they were not hurt!

My older niece was hysterical and crying, but said she wasn’t hurt…to be honest, I felt the same way, bordering on shock! My younger niece, who was about 6, was laughing and asked me “Can we do that again?”

I looked out of the windshield and saw that the Volvo had stopped a few yards ahead and my father and sister were running towards us. However, before they reached the car, there was a knock on my side window, it was a cop!

I rolled my window down and he asked if we were all okay, and I told I thought we were, he saw that the girls were in the back with seat-belts on, and just then my sister appeared and began checking on them. Once it was clear that we were okay…just shaken up, the cop told me that he was impressed that I had gotten such distance and altitude out of the Toyota, and asked “How did you get it back up on the road?”

I honestly answered, “I don’t know, I just kept turning the wheel and that worked!”

By then, other cops had arrived, and the officer I was talking to asked me how fast I was going. I told him about 45, and he said “No, the speed limit is 35, you were going 35, right?” I did not get it at first, and wanted to be honest but he insisted, and I got it just in time to confirm “Yes, I was going 35!” just as another cop showed up to hear it!

My thinking is that he was not anxious to give me a speeding ticket, or to see me get any charges, considering that I did not hit anyone else, the girls were belted and safe, and I was clearly sober.

Although it had been on its side, sliding along the on-ramp to the Bayonne bridge, my father (I was done driving for the day) was able to drive the Toyota off the bridge and to my sister’s mechanic a few blocks away. From there we got a flatbed to take my father, myself and the wounded Toyota back to New Jersey, where we met up with my mother.

I was terrified that she would be mad at me…I mean really mad, she had a temper, and this time, it would have been justified. When we got out of the truck, I approached her with caution, telling her how sorry I was (that was not a lie) and I braced for whatever punishment I would receive, but instead she hugged me, telling me she was just glad that we were all okay, and that “…sheet metal can be replaced, but we could not!”

Later, she said that it was probably too soon for me to be driving again after being so sick, but I never bought it, I knew that I had been distracted by the kids and worrying about paying the toll, but in the long-run, I had to admit that it really was just an accident, and I learned to forgive myself.

And, the Toyota was eventually fixed, and eventually, I bought it off of my parents and drove it until the Summer of ’87, when once more it wound up on its side…this time it was parked in front of my apartment on Staten Island (having moved down the street from my sister, when I worked on Wall Street), and another driver backed into it, ending its valiant life!

As for my nieces, they are now adults with families of their own, and doing just fine; although, my older niece did flip over a Ford Aerostar when she was a teen, but maybe the experience in the Toyota helped her, as she and her passengers survived that crash with no problems.

Funny how life comes around like that…from time to time.

 

A depiction of the crash I drew shortly after the event.

Visit With Santa

Finally, it was Christmas-time!

All year, through the long, cold winter, the rainy spring, and the hot days of summer, Christmas seemed so far off, it felt like it would never get here!  Then the fall came, and as the leaves began to turn and the air got cooler, and the jack-o-lanterns and ghosts came out of hiding, he could feel it getting closer…Christmas!  This year it started winding up right after Halloween, with many of the stores putting up Christmas decorations as soon as the pumpkins were taken down, crowding out the few turkeys and pilgrims.

Then, about a week before Thanksgiving, one of the radio stations out of Philly switched to “All Christmas All the Time” as they played non-stop holiday music, until even the die-hard fans of Christmas had to turn it off…but only for a little while.  By Thanksgiving Billy was getting very excited about Christmas; not just the presents, but the treats and the parties and T.V. specials and the movies, and the treats and the eggnog and the possibility of snow, and the sure thing of no school for 10 days, and the treats, and visits with relatives and the treats, and special school assemblies, and shopping, and Christmas trees and decorating, and caroling, and the lights on all the houses, and the treats, and on and on…and of course, Christmas Eve!

For Billy, Christmas Eve was almost more exciting than Christmas Day itself, with cookies and stockings and the tree all lit up, and staying up late to go to the candlelight service at church, and seeing so many presents waiting under the tree!!!  And the night would end with stories, and “Merry Christmas” wishes, and he would go to bed too excited to sleep.  And every year, he told himself that this would be the year, he would stay awake, all night, and catch the man himself, as he slid down the chimney.  This year was no different, Billy had it all planned out, he would get plenty of sleep the night of the 23rd, and then sneak as many cups of coffee as he could during the day, to make sure he did not nod off this time, like he had done last year, and the year before.  He set up a “blind” (like duck hunters use) to hide in, between the sofa and his dad’s big easy chair, directly opposite of the fireplace.  This “blind” had a blanket and pillows, and a book (in case he got bored) and a small box of cookies.  Once in his “blind”, Billy would be out of sight, and could easily jump out and surprise the big man, and get his picture on his phone, before Santa went back up the chimney!  Billy smiled at the thought of getting a pictures of the actual Santa Claus, and wondered how much money he might be able to get for them!

Billy’s excitement grew all during the week leading up to Christmas!  He could hardly focus in school, but neither could most of the other kids, who were all excited about the coming holidays.  On the last day before the vacation, the kids were so wound up that the teachers just gave up, and they had parties and watched movies, and played games, and even had a visit from Santa Claus!!!  Of course it was not the real thing, all the kids knew it was just the Science teacher, Mr. Howe, all dressed up in a fake beard, and a cheap rented suit, but it was still fun!
School let out early that day, and Billy and his friends practically ran home.  “Oh boy, I can’t wait!” said Billy, “I am going to get a picture of Santa and sell it to CNN!!”  “You’ll never get any money from them, sell it to the ‘Weekly Worldwide Enquirer’ that paper will pay millions!” offered his friend Harold, with a snicker.  “What?” said Billy, “You don’t believe I am going to get HIS picture?”  “No, I can’t believe that you still think Santa Claus is real!”  “Yeah dude, I stopped believing when I was like seven!” added Dan.  Billy frowned. “Well just you wait, I’ll show you when I get those pictures, and when I get rich from them, maybe I’ll even wave to you guys from the back of my limo!”  “Yeah, sure Billy, whatever!”  “Well, anyway, ‘Merry Christmas’!” said Billy.  “And Merry Christmas to you dude!” replied Dan, to which Harold added, “Good luck gettin’ Santa’s picture, and if you see him tell him I want a PS4!!”  They all laughed, even Billy (though he was still feeling a little put-out because he friends were making fun of him) and as Harold and Dan walked away snickering.

Billy went up his front walk, and let himself in his house.
He spent the rest of that day playing with his dogs, getting them to chase the cats around the house, Texting his friends, watching Netflix and playing video games, but he was too wound up to concentrate on much—the main thing on his mind was the next night, which was Christmas Eve, and his plan to get Santa Claus’ picture on his cell phone!  That evening, right after a supper of Mac & Cheese, Billy began yawning and announced his intentions of going to bed early, surprising his parents, he wanted to be well rested so he could stay up all night on Christmas Eve!  Of course, all good intentions aside, Billy got caught up in cookie baking and the presents that were under the tree, and rolling around with the dog, and before he knew it, the clock hit 11pm!  “Billy!” said his mom loudly, “Look what time it is, I thought you wanted to go to bed early!”  “I did mom, but I just got so busy!”  “Well, you need to go up to bed right now!” said his mother.  “Yes mom!”  Billy said, upset that his plan was already hitting a snag and it was not even Christmas Eve yet!

Billy trudged up the steps and got ready for bed.  After brushing his teeth, getting on his ‘jammies’ and getting his bed ready, he called to his dad, who came up to say “good night” and Billy asked “Dad, do you believe in Santa Claus?”  His dad looked surprised, “I thought you gave up on the whole Santa Claus thing a few years ago, you said you were too old.”  “Well, I might have been mistaken…what do you think?”  “Well, I’ll tell ya, I do believe in Santa Claus, he is a very special part of the holiday, and seems to bring out the best in people; he is the spirit of Christmas, which is when we remember when we were given the gift of God’s love!”  “Cool dad, my friends laughed at me because I said that I wanted to…er, uh, I mean, that I believed in Santa!”  Billy’s dad smiled, “Just goes to show you, your friends don’t have ALL the answers!”  With that he told Billy good night, gave him a hug, and left the room.  Billy was tired, but could not go to sleep right away, he tossed and turned and was sure he would not be able to sleep at all, but the next thing he knew, it was morning!  Even before he opened his eyes, he could hear snow beating against his windows, and the sound of the wind howling through the trees.  He rolled over and looked outside to see a fresh layer of snow on the ground!  New snow, Christmas Eve, and a picture of Santa at the end of the day,

Billy smiled and knew it was going to be a good day!

Billy’s good feeling lasted until just after breakfast, when his mom asked him to help clean up the house!  “You know we are going to have company over after church tonight, and this house is a mess!”  Billy spent the next few hours taking out the trash, dusting the furniture, running the vacuum cleaner, and finally, cleaning up his own room!!  (As if the ‘company’ was going to be coming up to his room!) Then, just when he thought it was over, his mom said “Time to wrap presents!”  This was not as bad as cleaning, but still a lot of work, as Billy wrapped gifts for his friends and relatives and listened to his mom’s corny Christmas music on Pandora.  The good thing is that his mom had made plenty of Christmas cookies, which he shared with the dog!

When the presents were wrapped, Billy and his parents had a quick dinner of take-out pizza, and then it was time to get ready for church!  It was one of the few times that Billy really enjoyed going to church, not only was it Christmas Eve, but also because he got to stay up late!! However, he was already feeling tired after his busy day, and he began to worry about whether he would be able to stay up long enough to get pictures of Santa!

During Church Billy got to sit with Harold, who continued to tease him about Santa Claus, and even succeeded in making Billy laugh out loud once during the sermon (which earned him a stern look from the pastor, and a nudge from his mother)!  After church some of his parents’ friends gave him candy which was always welcome!  Then they all went back home, where Billy’s parents served more cookies, coffee and hot chocolate, and Billy and his friends went off to hang out in his room, while the grown-ups chattered away downstairs.  “So are you really going to try to stay up all night to try to get a picture of Santa Claus?” Billy’s friend Marty asked him. Billy told him he was, and his friend Dan asked him “What are you, like 4 years old, how do you still believe in Santa?” Billy’s friends all laughed though no one really meant to be mean.  They all liked Billy, but could not help but tease him about his faith in “The Jolly Fat Man” as Harold called him.  Billy knew this, but was still annoyed “I’ll show you, I’m gonna get that picture and prove to you that he IS real, and I’ll make a fortune selling those pictures to the ‘Weekly Worldwide Enquirer’, then I’ll  be laughing at YOU!” he shouted.   “Okay, when you show us those pictures of the ‘Jolly Fat Man’ then we’ll believe you!” said Marty, and they all laughed again.

By 1:00 am, everyone had gone home, and the house was quiet.  Billy’s parents were just finishing with their presents and eggnog, and Billy was in his room, pretending to be asleep, but he was too excited!  After a while he heard his parents coming up the stairs and into their room, but he wanted to wait until he could hear his father snoring before he headed downstairs to hide in his “blind” and wait, cell-phone in hand, for Santa!  He would show his friends that they were wrong and that Santa Claus WAS real, and then he would be laughing at them!!

While he was waiting, Billy dozed off.  When he woke up he was afraid he had missed Santa…again! As he lay in bed he listened; the house was silent, except for this father’s snoring!  He quietly out of bed, and crept down stairs.  When he got to the living room he saw that the cookies and milk left out for Santa were still there, Billy had not missed him at all!!  Carefully, quietly, Billy moved into his blind, covering himself with a blanket, and keeping his phone nearby.  It was 2:15 AM, Santa had to be here soon, and so Billy sat and waited, and tried hard not to nod off again.

But he did begin to nod, and just as his eyes were closing, he heard a noise, a quiet, “whump, whump, whump” and it was a sound that he could feel in the walls and floor!  Billy woke up, all of the sleepiness he felt just a moment before was gone.  This is IT!  He thought to himself, “I am going to get my picture of Santa” he said aloud.  Billy’s excitement grew as he saw a light fall of soot come down from the chimney and into the fireplace.  Then, he saw a pair of shiny black boots appear, hesitate for a moment, and then “bang” a man dressed in a soot covered red suit, hit the bottom of the fireplace and rolled into the living room.  The man stood up, pulled a bag out of the chimney and began to place presents around the tree.  He was fast at his work, and got all the gifts arranged before the cloud of ash could settle.  Billy knew it was Santa, but he waited, watching him do his work, and then, when Santa turned to take the cookies and milk, Billy jumped up and without a word, took his picture!  “Gotcha!” he cried!  Santa was startled and said, “What’s going on here?” “I got your picture, I will be rich, and my friends will finally believe that you do exist!”  Santa looked annoyed, and said, “Oh no, we cannot allow that!” Just then, little hands came from Billy’s right and snatched the phone!  It was an elf, who scurried up the chimney before Billy could do anything to stop him.  Santa just smiled and said “Sorry son!” touched his finger to his nose, and rose up the chimney.  Billy moved quick and managed to grab onto one of Santa’s boots and he held on tight, so that he rose up the chimney also!

Santa and Billy flew out of the chimney and out over the roof, and they both landed on the floor of a big twin rotor black Chinook helicopter.  They fell into a confused tangle, “Let go you crazy kid!” yelled Santa.  “Not without my phone!” replied Billy, as he lunged for the elf holding the phone.  The elf jumped back and fell against the controls, causing the chopper to bang into the roof of the house, and making the engines to roar to life.  The elf cried to the pilot “Put us back into stealth mode, they can hear us!”  The Chinook now made a loud “WHUMP, WHUMP, WHUMP” sound and now lights were coming on in all the houses, windows were opening, and sirens could be heard in the distance.  “Get us out of here!” ordered Santa.  “What about the kid?”  Santa looked at Billy, and said “I guess we’ll have to take him with us!”  Billy heard this and got scared—now he was in big trouble!  Then the helicopter lurched forward and rose up quickly, as it turned to leave, Billy could see several police cars approaching his house, but the chopper was too high and moving too fast to be seen from the ground, and now that it was back in stealth mode, it was quiet again, and almost invisible against the night sky!

“Whew, I think we’re safe now.” said Santa, who then turned to Billy, and said: “I am very disappointed in you!”  Billy looked embarrassed and a little ashamed, “Sorry, but I just wanted your picture so I could prove to my friends that you were real!”  “You also wanted to get my picture so you could sell it to “The Weekly World Enquirer”, didn’t you?”  “How did you know that?”  Billy asked, realizing as soon as he did, that it was a dumb question.  “Well, I AM Santa Claus, and I see all!”  Santa replied, laughing in a not so jolly way!  “I cannot have you blowing the whole ‘Santa Claus’ deal, now can I?”  Billy was puzzled.  “How would having your picture out on the internet, or in a newspaper hurt you?”  “Well, first of all, I doubt that anyone would believe your story, they would think that you faked the picture.”  “Okay, but I still do not see…” Santa cut Billy off.  “Very rude of you, you did not wait for me to finish!” He said.  “Sorry Santa!”  Santa nodded to Billy and went on “Very well then, I guess you are pretty sorry right now, but as I was saying: if people really did believe that this was an actual picture of me, all the mystery would be gone, and I would have even more people trying to hunt me down and find my real headquarters.  One needs to be careful you know!” Santa replied with a quick wink.  “Oh, so you do not want people to show up at your house, and try to get things from you, or get more pictures!”  “Yes, that is part of it—I do not want stalkers, or corporate spies trying to steal my secrets, but also, if people knew I was real, then I would lose some of my magic, they would start asking why I give away toys, and maybe even accuse me of working for a big toy company, like Mattel, and the children would lose their faith, I would become nothing more than a trademark!” “But then you would be rich too!!” shouted Billy.  Santa just shook his head, “Billy, Billy, Billy, you do not get it, do you—you see I do not want money, I have plenty, and I do not want to be any more famous than I am, I just want to be able to continue to give out toys and presents on Christmas!”  Billy looked at Santa, almost getting it… “Well that is a really nice thing you do, but why, what’s in it for you?”  “Well, you see, it’s not only because I like giving out presents and helping people who do not have much reason to celebrate, really enjoy the season, but also because my giving inspires others to also give, and learn about the joy of giving themselves.”

“Oh like the story of the ‘loaves and fishes’ that I learned about at Sunday school, right?” Billy asked. “Yes, kind of like that.” answered Santa.

Finally, Billy got it!  If he had sold those pictures, then everyone would believe, but without the mystery of wondering who or what he was, or even if there was a Santa at all, there would be no more magic and people would just see Santa as a guy who runs around in a red suit, and not as the spirit of Christmas, the spirit of giving and of love for each other.  “I understand now Santa, but what do I say to my friends, like Harold.  They’ll just keep on teasing me!”  “Yes, I am afraid they will, and there is not much you can do about that—but isn’t a little teasing worth it?”  “Well if you put it that way…no it is not, but I understand, I won’t tell him, besides he probably still would not believe me!”  “You’re right; he probably would not, however…” Santa began, with a mischievous look in his eyes, “If he really gives you a hard time you could tell him how you will let everyone know he still wets the bed at night, and keeps his wet sheets hidden under his bed, and also let him know I don’t like him calling me the ‘Jolly Fat Man’, I don’t like that!”  Billy laughed and said “Okay, it’s a deal.  Now can I have my phone back?”  “Sure, Manny, give Billy his cell phone, please.”  With that the elf appeared next to Billy and handed him his phone. “Thanks Manny” said Billy, “You elves sure do get around!”

After having some hot chocolate and cookies, and watching Santa make a few deliveries, Billy found himself once again hovering over his house. The first hint of dawn was on the horizon, the police were gone, and few lights shone in the windows of the houses, but all was quiet.  “Well Billy, have a good night, and a Merry Christmas!” was the last thing Billy heard Santa say before he felt himself being shoved out of the helicopter!
The next thing Billy knew it was morning, and he was in his own bed!  Next to him was his cell phone, not even daring to hope, Billy turned it on, and scrolled through the pictures—and there it was!

The pictures of Santa were still there!  He jumped out of bed and was about to show it to his parents, but he stopped, remembering his promise to Santa, not to show the picture to anyone.  So, instead, Billy saved the pictures to his computer and then deleted it from the phone.  Just then, his mom called him down to Christmas breakfast, which meant it would soon be time for presents!

Billy ran down the stairs, and in his excitement, he forgot to close out the picture of Santa on his laptop!  Billy spent the day wading through presents and food, and visiting with family, and watching movies, and just plain having fun!  He also spent the day holding on to his secret, wishing he could tell someone, but he knew he could not!  However, he never gave a second thought to the picture of Santa that was still up on the computer screen, not until Harold and his parents came over later that afternoon.  “Hey Santa-boy, did you get any pics of the Jolly Fat Man last night?” Harold asked, laughing.  Billy wanted to tell him everything, but knew Harold would never believe him anyway, and he had made a promise, “No, of course not, I must have…fallen asleep before he got here!”  “Yeah, whatever…I can’t believe you still believe in that Jolly Fat

Man, you know he is made up, right?”  Billy didn’t like what Harold had said, and was getting mad, “I do TOO know that Santa is real, and I also know he does not like being called ‘The Jolly Fat Man’, and I know a few other things too!”  “How would you know anything, Santa Claus believing baby?”  Harold said, with a sneer.  “You’d be surprised what I know, how are those sheets that you keep under your bed, no wonder your room smells so funky!”  Harold froze and turned deep red with embarrassment.  “Who told you about that!??” he shouted, “No one knows about that!”  “About what?” replied Billy, “I was just kidding around!”  Harold knew he was not joking, but they both decided to let it go, and Harold stopped giving Billy a hard time about his faith in Santa.

The two boys decided to go up to Billy’s room, to check out some of his presents, and text some of their friends, to see what they got for Christmas.  Harold ran into the room ahead of Billy and then stopped when he saw the computer screen, “Hey, is that your dad in the Santa outfit?”  Billy was mortified; he had left the picture up for all to see!  “Yeah, sure, my dad, he-he.”  He said, as he reached over to close the file, but he was too late, Harold had already clicked over to the next picture.  The screen refreshed, to show Santa and the elf, Manny sitting in jump-seats in the belly of the Chinook, as the big chopper was careening through New York City, the Empire State Building in full view outside the windows.  “Cool picture, this looks so real, did you Photo-shop this yourself?”  Harold asked, as he moved onto the next and final picture.  This picture was obviously taken on the roof of a house, and showed a large Santa, sliding into a small chimney, while Billy could clearly be seen in the doorway of the Chinook hovering just inches above the roof!

“Whoa, dude, this is you, is this picture real?”  Billy did not know what to say, and before he could respond, Harold said, “What do you have an uncle in the Army or something—this is so cool, how did you get to ride on the helicopter, and where did you get this Santa graphic, it looks so real!”  “Internet” Billy replied.  “Well, this is a cool picture, but you know Fatso does not use a helicopter, he uses reindeer.  Duh, you goofed up on this one!”  “Yeah, I guess I did!” said Billy, relieved that Harold thought the pictures were fakes.  “Anyway”, Harold went on, “The Jolly Fat One is not cool enough to have such a sweet chopper!”

“I am too!” came a voice from the computer’s speakers.  Harold froze, and felt all the color drain out of his face.

“Who said that?”  he asked.

“I did!” said the small Santa on the screen, as he hopped out of the chimney and walked out on the roof!  “Harold, my chopper is the same type as used by the Black Ops folks, it is flat-black, hard to see, and has stealth, so it is hard to hear too—it is very sweet, and very fast too!”

Harold’s jaw dropped, he could not believe what he was seeing!  “Wow, this is incredible, just wait until…”  “No, Harold, you can’t tell, and no one will believe you anyway, so this is just between us, got it?”  “Yeah, I got it!” Harold answered quietly.  “Good boy, and now, one more thing you can do for me, before I go.”  “What’s that?”  The on-screen Santa sighed, smiled, and then said “Well, Harold, unless you want to get coal for Christmas next year…STOP CALLING ME THE JOLLY FAT MAN!”  Harold was so startled he fell out of his chair and rolled onto the floor.  On the desk, the computer screen went blank, as the machine shut itself off.

“That was sooo weird!”  “Yeah, it was!” Said Billy, “But you can never, ever tell anyone, because Santa said it is better to keep people guessing about him!”  “I wish I could!”  “But no one would believe you anyway, and Santa would know, as you have seen, he can show up almost anywhere!”  Harold just nodded, still amazed.  Just then, his mom called him to come downstairs, as it was time to go.  “Goodbye Billy, I’ll never tease you about Santa again!”  Harold said, as he walked out of the room, his head spinning!

Though they were both tempted, Harold and Billy never told anyone, but they did talk about their Santa experience to each other, and still looked at the pictures, but they never moved again.  By summer, the whole thing seemed like a weird dream, and they both began to wonder if it had all really happened.

Then, during a trip to the Jersey Shore, Harold and Billy were walking along the beach, it was late in the afternoon, and there were few people left on the sand.  The two boys ran out into the waves and rode the surf back in, wasting time, although they were due back at the rental house for supper, they just kinda forgot.

After one big wave dumped them both on the empty beach, they looked up and saw a large man, standing with the sun at his back so that his face was hard to see.  He was tanned, had a neatly trimmed white beard and a short “summer” haircut.  “Well hello boys, having a good time?”  They looked at each other, and then Billy cautiously answered “Yes…”  “You know this is my private beach, don’t you?”  “No, sir we did not.” answered Harold.  “Well now you do, and now it is getting dark and it is time for you two to go home and have your dinner, right?”    “Yes sir!” said Billy, a little intimidated.  The man smiled and said, “Goodbye Billy and Harold, see you next Christmas, if you are really good, I’ll take you for a ride in the Chinook.” He said with a wink and a smile.  Harold and Billy smiled and said “Bye Santa!”, and they started to run down the beach toward their supper.

“Hey!” called Santa, and they stopped to look at him, “Remember, lay off the ‘Jolly Fat Man’ stuff!”  He said with a laugh, and Billy and Harold watched as Santa walked away, down the beach and into the gathering dusk.